I walked away from the mailbox bawling today. This is so terribly hard...not being able to communicate with my husband at all...I can not wait for it to be over...

Going to the mailbox these days creates a battle in my heart...Part of me wants to avoid it all together because if it is empty I know I will be disappointed and a little bit sad...then there is part of me that just can't resist...ever hopeful. I gave in yesterday and walked over the the mailbox only to find it filled with junk and Christmas magazines for the person who lived here before we did...a little sad...but there is always Monday.

Part of me is excited that writing letters is our communication. I miss sitting down with pen to paper and writing my thoughts from the day. I miss writing the person's name on the outside of the envelope and placing a stamp in the corner. It seems I only do this for bills these days.  I think letter writing helps me to think before I speak too. I have realized since Jon has been gone that I probably need to try and practice this more in person...taking time to let the moment pass and not let something that might hurt my feelings or scare me turn into an emotional moment.

It is weird these days at home. Almost like I have my very own place. I cleaned it up yesterday with the knowledge that I would be the only one here to mess it up again. I looked at the trash this morning knowing I was going to have to be the one to take it out...It is a lot more quiet and I am finding myself a lot more productive too. How have I let being married distract me so? I am even finding time for my quiet time each day...something that has not been as consistent as it used to be.

I am hoping Jon is in Church this morning...meeting some fellows who love the Lord as much as he does...Of course I will not be able to find out until the letter comes...

Here is a picture of Jon and me right before he got on the plane for bootcamp:

  GO NAVY!!

I just have to say that I ran 3 miles last night without stopping and I am very proud of myself. It seemed pretty easy...probably b/c I was running at a slower pace, but hey 3 miles is 3 miles. I have always thought it would be cool to be able to participate in a mini triathlon or at least a 5k race. Maybe if I keep up the running and get back to biking I could actually enter a race. That would be awesome...

I actually feel a lot better now that Jon and I run together. I am still over weight, boy would running be easier if I was thinner!, but it feels nice to exercise on a regular basis. Maybe one day if I can get back into shape I can find a soccer team to play with...

I think it also helps Jon and I to work together at meeting a goal. I think it helps bring us closer together to exercise and push ourselves together...It will be sad to lace up my running shoes alone when he is gone to boot camp. They say that people are more likely to exercise if they do it with their spouse. They also say that families that camp together stay together! Soooo....Jon and I are throwing around the idea of going camping...We will see what comes of that...